I know, I know. This is a super-duper delayed mothers’ (and advanced fathers’) day post. I was supposed to post one on May 10 but was too busy preparing for my Catanduanes trip (which was awesome – as expected – and which I have to write about really, really soon) and fixing all other hullabaloos in my life that I promptly forgot about it. Which is super bad, I know, because my own mom will never be too busy for (let alone forget) me. So here I am.
During our grand family reunion last Sunday (which was actually the main reason I went to Catanduanes), one of my aunts introduced herself teary-eyed with the following words: “I am a single mom…” She was a mix of proud (her son, believe me, is someone to be really proud of) and ashamed. But everybody clapped for her and I can hear people saying, “That’s okay. You’re okay.”
I wanted to approach her and tell her the exact same things I am gonna say below. But I didn’t. I knew I should have. I knew she needed to hear these. I know ALL single moms need to hear this.
So here goes:
There’s no shame in being a single mom. I have – technically – been raised by three very strong, very loving, very caring, very beautiful single mothers: 1) my aunt, who was still unmarried and had no children of her own when my mom left for Japan and she was left with a very malandi, very sutil girl to look after; 2) my other aunt, who was by then also a single mom to a young, hardheaded boy; and 3) my own mom. And I’d like to think I grew up to be one fine, strong, able lady. And though my genes may have played a part in it, I know it is more a testament to the wonderful job my two aunts and mom have done.
I was not the easiest kid to look after. Most kids aren’t. Kids are bound to be naughty, noisy, rowdy, and stubborn. Even the most behaved ones have crazy sleep patterns. As an aunt and as a godmother, I often find myself only able to look after the little ones for only a few hours at a time. My friends, who are happily married and have partners to help look after the kids, still have their “horror” stories about being parents. So if it’s hard for those with partners in their lives, what more for the single moms? So if you are one? No, don’t put that head down in shame or shed a tear because you feel like a “failure”. You have been, are, and will be doing a great job at raising that kid of yours. Then that kid will someday look back and know how much effort you put into his/her life. And believe me, s/he will appreciate it. Because I sure did.
So to my Auntie Lyn, Auntie Medy, and Mommy, the three amazing ladies who shaped me into the person I am today, and to my Tia Pollen, who inspired this post, and to all awesome (responsible) single mothers out there: CHEERS! The world is a better place because you exist. I love you. Each and every one of you.